Some Brain Thoughts

I think like I'm in a situation where I'm waiting for something, like work and all my life stuff and whatnot feel like a thing I'm doing to pass the time while waiting for a thing to happen. But I'm not sure what that thing is. Like, I don't really have any major plans or things coming up. I'm working hard to get through everything hoping for something to happen, but what?

In a general sense getting orders and such is a thing I look forward to and is it that? Is it "waiting for the pandemic to be over"? because what even does that mean? It wasn't the election being done because that's done and I still have the feeling! What am I expecting to happen in life? How do I make something happen? Do I feel like there is a point where suddenly I become Normal and it's a matter of time and that's what I'm waiting for?

Does this make sense? Who knows lol.